BLOG 2
Convincing Others
Have you ever tried to convince someone to respect your objections to an activity? I have. In marriage especially, I have frequently been outmaneuvered by my husband’s logic. Yes, he always has very good ideas about what he wants and why he wants it. But recently I made a discovery. If I apply some of my multi-sensory learning techniques, I have more success in being understood and my ideas accepted.
In my marriage, I have learned to avoid using emotions to get my husband to change his mind about something he wants me/us to do. … something I may disagree with. Tears, anger, and speaking loudly are not good for relationships. Using emotions can get you what you want in the moment, but they will turn others off and harm relationships.
I used to simply say, in a calm manner, “I don’t want to do this activity. I’m too tired—or too busy—or not interested. If he was content to do the activity alone, or if it wasn’t too important to him, everything was fine. But sometimes he wants me to go places with him or attempt a project which I think is a bad idea. When I simply resist, he comes to me with logical reasons why I should do what he wants. A simple statement of what I think or want is not enough.
Recently, I chose to use a multisensory communication tool. Instead of simply saying I didn’t want to do something, I used IMAGINATION. I painted a mental picture of what I saw happening if we did what he asked. Result? He stopped pushing his idea and respected my view. He needed to hear why I didn’t want to pursue a certain course of action, and it needed to be more than an excuse. He needed to see the whole picture the way I saw it.
Because he saw my point of view, we were able to reach a satisfactory compromise.
When you find yourself facing a conflict, think through your objections. Write them down. Then paint a picture for the person with whom you are communicating. This will help smooth the way to better understanding and maybe help you find a satisfactory compromise.
A young woman I know was able to convince her employer to take a different approach to one of his goals by painting a picture of the reality she saw in one of the locations he was trying to reach. He was relying on charts and statistics to reach the people. She was focused on the people’s cultural response to his proposed actions. It changed how he approached the situation.
Whatever conflict you face, consider using imagination to help others understand your point of view. Then allow the other person to consider what you have said, and do not try to push them. Let them think about what you have said and evaluate it. This is a respectful way to address differences, and it often works well.